


Invictus

by squidears



Series: A Mother's Touch [3]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Fade to Black, Gen, Multi, Secrets, Slow Burn Yuri/Shirou, Unsealed Rin, Yuri Egin Lives, teased Rin/Shiemi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidears/pseuds/squidears
Summary: Egin Rin and Okumura Yukio enter Cram School, determined to keep their heritage under wraps for as long as they can. How long will they manage? How will their family adjust to life in True Cross Town?
Relationships: Godaiin Sei/Okumura Rin, Yuri Egin/Fujimoto Shirou
Series: A Mother's Touch [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1155953
Comments: 98
Kudos: 346





	1. 宜しくお願いします。

**Author's Note:**

> 宜しくお願いします (yoroshiku onegaishimasu)- nice to meet you, please take care of me. A traditionally polite introduction.

With his tie haphazardly fastened, Rin checked that his tail was underneath his dress shirt for the third time. He scrutinized himself from every angle in the mirror, looking for odd lumps under his shirt, a flash of horns underneath bangs, or moments when his glamour flickered.

“Oh, look at you,” his mother said from behind him, causing Rin to jump a little and turn to face her. She smiled wistfully. The nostalgic feelings towards True Cross Academy Yuri had pushed down for years were starting to resurface; for as much pain as the Order had caused her later in life, she still remembered her school days fondly. “That uniform certainly brings me back. You look just like your uncle when he was your age…”

Rin looked at her strangely. If Uncle Shirou wasn’t actually related, why was she comparing Rin to him? “It’s probably the hair,” he said, brushing his bangs down over his forehead once again. He knew his hair was thick enough to cover his horns without needing to glamour them, but he couldn’t help but worry. His fellow classmates were bound to be more observant than typical passers-by. Rin met his own eyes in the mirror and frowned. “Maybe I should wear sunglasses.”

“You’ll attract more attention wearing sunglasses indoors than your eyes ever could,” Yuri said, mirroring Rin’s frown. She straightened out his collar and ruffled the hair on the back of his head. “I told you, Rin, you’re not the first Page with demon blood and you won’t be the last…”

The fact failed to reassure him, but Rin gave his mother a wan smile anyways. He knew she was worried, too; it meant everything that she was still trying to comfort him. “If I don’t go now, I’m gonna be late,” he said abruptly. “Bye, Ma.” 

Before he had any time to protest, she gave him a quick peck on the forehead. “I’ll see you soon.”

Rin gave a little nod of acknowledgment before putting his key in the door, stepping through into a brightly colored yet dusty hallway. Right across from him was a door with a piece of paper that read “FIRST YEARS IN HERE TODAY” in Uncle Shirou’s handwriting haphazardly taped to it. Taking a deep breath, Rin stepped inside.

He was relieved to find the class was much smaller than the 20 students Yukio always talked about in his regular classes; there were only seven people in the cramped, dingy classroom. Yukio was the first person he spotted, standing next to a desk where Suguro was sitting. Next to him was a short boy with a shaved head. At another table were two girls, one with purple pigtails and another with brown, bobbed hair. In the very back, a boy in a gray hoodie and a kid holding a puppet sat as far away from each other— and everyone else —as possible. 

Yukio waved Rin over. “I was just starting to worry you’d gotten lost, Nii-san,” Yukio said, relieved. “You’ve met Suguro before. Nii-san, this is Konekomaru, Suguro’s friend. Konekomaru, this is my older brother.”

“It’s nice to meet you. M-My name’s Egin Rin but you can just call me Rin,” he said, giving a stiff little bow towards Konekomaru.

Konekomaru didn’t bow back, only inclining his head slightly. Had Rin been a bit too enthusiastic with his manners? “It’s nice to meet you, too…”

“Speaking of introductions, where’s Shima?” Suguro said. “Class is supposed to start any minute now.”

“Late, where else?” Konekomaru sighed. “I don’t know how he managed it when we have an instant key…”

“At least the teacher’s not here yet either,” said Suguro. “Back in middle school, he always seemed to get there just before the homeroom teacher did.”

As if on cue, a boy with pink hair who was probably Shima strolled into the classroom. The pigtailed girl, who had previously been engrossed in a conversation with the girl sharing her desk, gave him a piercing look. 

Shima grinned back. “What’s up, everyone?”

“Are you going to be showing up late every day this semester, or just on the very first one?” Pigtail girl said snidely.

“I’m not late, teacher’s not here yet,” Shima said.

The girl flushed bright red with anger. Before she could start a tirade, the twins’ uncle entered. Yukio sat down at one of the tables next to Suguro and Konekmaru’s, pulling Rin down into a chair next to him. “Sorry I’m late!” Shirou said, clearly not sorry. “We’ll get started as soon as you sit down, mister, uh…”

“Shima Renzou.”

Fujimoto laughed. “Should have known! You look just like your siblings, you know.”

Renzou suddenly looked very tired. “I get that a lot...”

Renzou sat down, and the white-haired man assumed his position at the front of the class. “With that out of the way, let’s get to introductions and roll call. The name’s Father Fujimoto, Paladin Emeritus,” their teacher said, scribbling “Fujimoto-sensei” on the board. “But you all get to call me Fujimoto-sensei. This year, I’ll be teaching Introductory Demonology, Anti-Demon Pharmaceuticals, and First Aid for Exorcists. Is Kamiki Izumo here?”

The pigtailed girl raised her hand and Fujimoto continued calling everyone’s names. Seeing his uncle like this was so strange that Rin couldn’t stop staring; he’d known Uncle Shirou was a professor for a long time, but actually being his student was something completely different.

“Now that attendance is done, let’s get down to business,” Shirou said. Rin realized with a jolt that he hadn’t heard anybody’s name past Eyebrows Girl.  
“We always start off this first class by giving a mashou to anyone who doesn’t have one yet. Can those without a mashou raise their hand?” Fujimoto asked. 

Konekomaru and the brown-haired girl both raised their hands. Rin was surprised to see Suguro raise his hand as well; he had talked so confidently about Cram School for someone who’d never seen a demon. How did he know what he was getting himself into? And how was Uncle Shirou going to give them mashous safely, anyways?  
Rin locked eyes with Father Fujimoto for a long moment, unsure of whether to stand up and offer to give people mashous. Uncle Shirou clearly understood where Rin’s mind had gone; he shook his head slightly, an infinitesimal ‘no’. Rin relaxed back into his seat and heard a small sigh of relief beside him. Yukio had been watching their silent exchange intently, it seemed.

“I brought a friend here to help me out,” Fujimoto said, opening up the bag on his desk. “Kuro, why don’t you come out and introduce yourself?”

Did I have to hide in the bag, Shirou? It was cramped in there, Rin heard Kuro whine as he popped out of the bag. He yowled a greeting, eyes scanning the class before landing on two familiar faces. _Rin! Yukio! What are you guys doing in a class full of exorcists?_

Rin found himself grinning from ear to ear at the sight of his friend. He nearly responded aloud before remembering where he was; he toned down the smile a bit, not wanting to seem suspiciously enthusiastic. _I missed you so much,_ he thought hard at Kuro. 

Shirou gave Kuro a scratch behind his horns, drawing his attention away from Rin. “Line up and Kuro will give you a small scratch on the back of your hand. And try not to be too shocked once the mashou starts working... it hurts his feelings when people faint,” he said wryly.

One by one, Kuro brought the three students without mashous fully into the world of demons and exorcists. Rin found himself watching the entire process raptly; he’d never given anyone a mashou that he could remember, so he’d never seen what it looked like when humans got a glimpse of the demon world for the first time. 

Suguro handled it the best by far. The only sign his perception of Kuro had changed was a slight widening of his eyes; he seemed neither surprised nor frightened at the sudden appearance of horns on the top of a previously normal cat’s head. On the walk back to his desk, Suguro seemed to look right at Rin for an unusually long time. Did he look more demonic now as well, even with the glamour still on?

Konekomaru was next. While he didn’t scream or shout, Rin could guess the very moment Miwa spotted Kuro’s demonic features by the way the boy recoiled in shock from the cat. It made Rin worry a bit about how he’d adjust to seeing demons wandering around in the real world; both Yukio and Rin had struggled with ignoring demons in public when they were younger. Konekomaru didn’t stare at Rin when walking back, which was a relief.

The brown haired girl (who turned out to be named Paku) went last. Rin could practically taste the unease radiating off her, and he was sure Kuro could as well. She barely bit back a yelp when Kuro’s appearance changed. Walking back, her eyes went wide and the color drained from her face when she happened to make eye contact with Rin; he looked away immediately, but the damage had clearly been done. 

“Were Egin-kun’s eyes always like that?” Rin heard Paku whisper to the pigtailed girl. He stared intently down at his desk, shoulders tense.

Kamiki hushed her. “It’s not a big deal, Paku, I’ll explain later…”

While the two girls had been talking, Father Fujimoto had started his lecture on demons; thankfully, it covered information so basic that Rin didn’t need to pay attention. The boy sunk down in his seat, wishing he could turn invisible or melt into the floor. The girls’ conversation, combined with hearing Uncle Shirou lecture on what made demons different from humans, made Rin feel like everyone in the room was staring directly at him. If his classmates couldn’t tell he wasn’t fully human before, they certainly could now.

Yukio glanced over at his brother partway through the lecture, worried. “Nii-san, are you alright?” He whispered.

Rin nodded, determined to power through. If he couldn’t make it through his first class with a teacher he knew, it didn’t bode well for the rest of his Cram School career. He couldn’t think about what his classmates thought about him— his focus had to be on school and school alone. His handwriting was painstakingly slow and sloppy, but Rin did his best to write down everything he saw on the board, even the things he already knew. Even when Uncle Shirou called for everyone to take a break and the Kyoto Trio made their way towards the twins’ table, he kept feverishly copying notes.

Rin jumped a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder, even after realizing it was just Yukio. “Nii-san, you need to take a break,” Yukio said firmly. “What are you writing down, anyways? We know everything Fujimoto-sensei talked about.”

Shima, Konekomaru, and Suguro were looking at Rin now, too. He reluctantly put the pencil down. “Aren’t we supposed to be writing down everything?” Everyone gave Rin a strange look. “…What?”

“Haven’t you ever taken a class before? _Any_ class?” Suguro said, hands on his hips.

Rin flinched and Yukio intervened. “Nii-san was—”

“I was homeschooled,” Rin interrupted. He was nervous, but he at least wanted to attempt speaking for himself. “Where we lived, it wasn’t safe for me to be in school, so…”

To Rin’s shock, his fellow classmates were nodding understandingly. “One of the families in Myou Dha, the Hojos, look a little like you do and they all had a really hard time at school,” Konekomaru said, frowning. “Remember when Ao-nee used to come home crying?”

“Yeah. I think that was usually Kinzou’s fault, though,” Shima said sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck. Seeing the twins’ confused expressions, he elaborated. “My older brother. He’s a tool.”

Rin and Yukio looked at each other helplessly; they had no idea who these people were, but they were both thankful their classmates were responding so well. “Uh… if we don’t have to write everything down, what am I supposed to write down?” Rin asked.

“I’m sorry, Nii-san. I should have explained it,” Yukio sighed. “You only need to write down things that are new for you or that you think you might forget.”

Suguro snatched up Rin’s notebook, squinting at the messy handwriting. “So unless you think you’re going to forget stuff like ‘demons have tails’, you probably didn’t need to take all these notes…”

Rin took his notebook back, the tips of his ears heating up as he clutched it to his chest. “I’m definitely not going to forget that,” he mumbled, feeling his own tail twitch underneath his shirt. It seemed so obvious now, after everything had been explained to him; he felt stupid for wasting time, energy, and paper. 

“Don’t feel bad, Egin-kun, you didn’t know any better,” Konekomaru said, the other boys nodding in agreement. “But now you know, right?”

Rin nodded back. He held his notebook even closer to his chest, hoping to calm the now frantic wriggling of his tail before it became obvious. Did this mean he was making friends with his classmates? “Thanks,” he said, smiling.

Suguro crossed his arms. “You don’t need t’ thank us for bein’ decent human beings,” he grumbled.

During the break, Father Fuijmoto had left the classroom with Kuro and a short, plump woman had taken his place at the front. Her light brown hair was meticulously coiffed and her hands and neck glittered with excessive jewelry. She cleared her throat, and everyone scattered back to their seats.   
“My name is Miss Angeline, and I will be your Holy Scriptures Recitation teacher,” she said. She sounded like the soprano in a particularly amateur opera production. Rin and Yukio gave each other another nervous glance; they obviously hadn’t grown up learning any sort of religious texts, putting them at a clear disadvantage. Suguro, Konekomaru, and Kamiki were all sitting eagerly, backs straight. “Now as this is a Catholic institution, this class will be focusing on Scriptures in the Christian canon,” Miss Angeline continued. The three students slumped; they were at just as much of a loss as the rest of them.

“While reciting in the original language is most effective, I simply don’t have the time to teach you all Aramaic and Ancient Greek,” she said, tracing the cover of a Bible on the desk with a red, clawed fingernail. “Those of you who go on to become Arias will learn, but this semester we’ll be covering Fatal Verses of common, low-level demons in Japanese. This class is weekly. Every week, I will assign you all verses to memorize, and I expect you to have committed them to heart by the next week. I’ll go easy on you this first week, while you’re adjusting to life at the Academy,” she said. “Today, I’ll have you take turns reading passages aloud. You’ll find the Bibles in your desk drawers. Let’s start from the beginning of the Gospel of John with… you.” Rin didn’t even have to look up from the Bible he was frantically flipping through to know Miss Angeline was pointing at him. 

Struggling through the archaic translation was agonizing not just for Rin, but for everyone listening. It only took a few verses for Miss Angeline to grow impatient and choose someone else to read. Everyone else struggled as well, but nowhere near as badly as Rin; he understood why he wasn’t called on to read for the remainder of the class because of it. It still wasn’t any less mortifying.

After the final class of the day, Rin wanted nothing more than to slink back to his dorm and lick his wounds. To his surprise, the other boys still insisted on walking back from class with him and Yukio. 

“So what’d you do to tick Miss Angeline off, Egin?” Shima joked. 

“Shut up, Shima,” warned Suguro as Rin spluttered. “He was probably just unlucky.”

Luck had nothing to do with it; she knew who Rin’s father was, like all the other teachers did. And she probably wasn’t going to be the only teacher with a grudge. But there was no way Rin could explain that to his classmates without revealing his secret.

Yukio sighed, but Rin could tell it was for show. “I bet she recognized your surname,” said Yukio. He elaborated for the group. “Nii-san has our mother’s family name. She’s a very accomplished Tamer, but most Exorcists seem to think her work is… controversial.” Rin would never stop being impressed by his brother’s ability to lie using the truth.

“What’s so controversial about it?” Konekomaru asked.

“She treats demons like partners, not servants,” Rin said, recalling one of his mother’s many rants about how the Order taught Taming. “A lot of people think humans and demons can’t understand each other, but she works really hard to understand demons and most of them want to understand her, too.”

“Doesn’t seem all that crazy to me,” said Suguro. “Lots of demons wanna work with humans, like Fujimoto-sensei’s cat. It’s not like she tried to Tame Satan that way or something.”

“N-No, of course not!” Rin said a little too quickly. “That’s r-ridiculous, who would even _try_ that?!” Yukio gave him a look that said Rin was laying it on too thick, so he shut up. _So much for not lying_. He felt a little bad, but Rin was starting to enjoy how friendly people were being to him and didn’t want to give it up. After being ignored at best and hated at worst by everyone outside his family, being liked was almost addictive. 

“Dunno. The only reason I’d say a word to the bastard would be to give him a piece of my mind,” Ryuji growled. Yukio’s expression was impassive and unreadable. Shima and Konekomaru looked bored, as if they’d heard this rant dozens of times over. Rin looked like all of the blood had drained from his face.

“Stop talking about Satan, you’re scaring Egin-kun,” Konekomaru scolded. “You know not everyone’s comfortable with bringing him up and trash talking him all the time, Bon…”

Suguro scoffed dismissively, then thought better of it. “Sorry, Egin,” he said, genuinely apologetic. “I know a lot of people don’t even like hearing his name, but I hate him so much that it’s hard to stop myself once I get started.”

“It’s alright,” Rin said, his mouth dry. “I hate him, too, I just… I don’t like talking about it is all.” 

Konekomaru’s expression was one of pure empathy. “You lost family in the Blue Night, didn’t you?”

“The Blue Night?” Rin and Yukio asked in unison, although both were sure they wouldn’t like the answer.

Shima was uncharacteristically serious. “A little more than fifteen years ago, Satan attacked exorcists and holy people all around the world,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Our temple was really badly hit. Bon’s grandpa, Koneko’s parents, and my older brother all died.”

Rin looked like his legs might give out from underneath him at any moment. Yukio, as inexpressive as he could be, appeared nearly as upset as Rin did. “Nobody told us,” Yukio said, a tremor in his voice. Suguro couldn’t tell whether he was furious, grieving, or both.

“I’m sorry,” Rin said, close to tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“H-Hey, don’t worry about it,” said Suguro. The overreaction to this news from both twins was a little concerning; he felt terrible nobody had told them about the Blue Night before now. Had they grown up thinking they were the only ones targeted by Satan? “Ya don’t have to apologize, ‘s not like it’s your fault or anything.”

“I’m sorry,” said Rin again. They were the only words in Japanese he could manage to get out right now.

“I think Nii-san lives this way,” Yukio said, pointing to a path perpendicular to the one the other Exwires would take back to the Boys’ Dorm. His voice still trembled and he had a haunted look in his eye, but he was clearly holding it together better than his elder brother. “I think I should make sure Nii-san gets home alright. I’ll see you all later.” He took Rin by the arm and pulled his nearly catatonic brother back to the abandoned dorm where he was staying.

Rin needed to be somewhere safe right now, and Yukio wanted answers.


	2. From a certain point of view

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know it's been a minute. I hope the length of this chapter makes up for the EXTREME delay 😭 Your comments and kudos kept me writing! I can't thank you all enough for enjoying this series as much as I enjoy writing it. No matter how long I go between updates, I'm not abandoning this series and you can hold me to that.

_Yuri sighed with relief as she sunk into the train seat, resting her hands on her large stomach. The ride to Sendai would take several hours, but Yuri was simply thankful for the chance to rest her feet; even when she’d been lying in bed all day her feet had been swollen and painful, and she’d done more walking in the past hour than she could recall doing in months. Yuri wanted nothing more than to sleep on the train, but doubted she’d get any actual rest. Moving around was making both the twins kick up a storm._   
_A particularly strong kick made her wince, then smile. Yuri had gotten to the point where she could tell the twins’ movements apart now; her little underdog was soft and fluttery, while his larger brother had the strength to match his size. Feeling both of them were the best parts of her day._

_Yuri’s midwife sat down next to her. “Remember, you need to get up and walk every hour,” she said firmly. “You’re at high risk for blood clots.”_

_“I will, Florence,” sighed Yuri. Florence Barry was often commanding, but only because she cared. She was the only person in that whole damned facility who had cared enough about Yuri and her babies to help them escape. For that, Yuri would let Barry order her around as much as she wanted to. “…Do you think they’ve noticed we’re gone yet?”_

_Florence scoffed. “I doubt it. Everyone who actually wanted to keep you there only checked on you once a day, at best… Personally, I’m guessing it’ll take them anywhere from a few hours to a few days to figure it out.” She smirked proudly, a dimple appearing on her plump cheek._

_Yuri laughed, genuinely laughed, for the first time in nearly a year. The bullet train was going at its full speed now, racing away from Tokyo and True Cross. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so hopeful, so…_ normal _. Instead of treating her like she was tainted, strangers smiled at her and cooed at her stomach and asked about her due date. The cold, sterile room she’d been trapped in for months was quickly becoming nothing more than a bad dream. She could almost forget whose children she was carrying— and what he might do once he sensed her absence._

_“She’s gone,” one of the Section 13 guards reported to his supervising officer hours later, breathless. His skin shimmered with sweat; the white collar visible underneath his exorcist’s coat was visibly damp._

_Fujimoto Shirou’s heart dropped. “Yuri is… dead?” She’d been growing weaker and weaker as Satan’s children grew inside her, but it hadn’t yet gotten to the point where Shirou had thought to be concerned for her life. She was determined to live until her children were born, at the very least; part of him had simply expected her to survive out of spite._

_“No, she’s_ gone _,” The guard said impatiently, “She escaped with that damn midwife!”_

_Never in his life had Shirou felt so many conflicting emotions. Relief that Yuri was alive warred with an irrational fury and sorrow that he hadn’t been included in her plan to escape. Logically, Shirou understood why. He hadn’t visited her once in the past seven months. She probably assumed he was furious with her, which had been true at first… but the anger had faded early on, leaving only the pain that’d been lurking underneath. He couldn’t bear the thought of looking at her and knowing Satan’s spawn were growing inside his best friend, the woman he loved—_   
_The part of his mind that was still somewhat able to reason filled with a gnawing dread. Shirou was willing to bet Satan would sense his mate had left Section 13 eventually, if not now. His body and mind had deteriorated, but in many ways that made Satan even more dangerous than before._

_As if Satan had read his mind (not impossible), Shirou heard a scream from a nearby lab and was nearly blinded by a flash of blue light. A flaming figure ran to the window before their body was suddenly extinguished, their only recognizable feature left a burnt maw locked in a wordless scream. They fell to the ground like a marionette with cut strings. Overhead, a klaxon wailed._

_The Blue Night had begun._

* * *

When it came to the twins’ first day of Cram School, Yuri had hoped for the best and prepared for the worst. What she hadn’t expected at all was Yukio glaring at her as he pulled a nearly hysterical Rin inside. Why Yukio was angry at her specifically, she had no clue— the only thing she could do was pull Rin into her arms and look up questioningly at her youngest. “What—”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Yukio shouted, angrier than Yuri could ever remember seeing him. Rin trembled in her arms.

It was almost physically painful to see her sons so upset, especially when she had no idea why. She tried to stay calm. “Yukio, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What didn’t I tell you?” Yuri didn’t even know where to begin guessing. She’d tried to be truthful to her sons, but she couldn’t deny they’d both lived somewhat sheltered lives. 

“The Blue Night,” said Yukio through grit teeth. “Satan attacked Exorcists around the world near when we were born. Why? _And why did you hide it?_ ”

Yuri’s ears roared with static. “…What?” She felt an immense heaviness on her chest; she still had no idea what Yukio was referring to, but she could guess what had happened and why. 

And if Yuri’s guess was accurate, this was entirely her fault.

The anger drained from Yukio’s expression upon seeing the shocked, haunted look in his mother’s eyes. His green eyes were wide, magnified by his glasses. “You didn’t know, either,” he murmured.

Yuri nodded numbly. She had known Satan would have sensed her escaping the Order eventually… but a worldwide massacre was a consequence she’d never foreseen. The seclusion and isolation that had kept her safe after leaving had probably driven Satan to possess people around the world once his body deteriorated, desperate to find her. She’d spent the rest of her pregnancy safe, but at what cost?  
Shirou didn’t tell her. He had to have known, and he didn’t tell her. Had it been some misguided attempt at protection? Somehow, that made Yuri even angrier with him. She was about ready to give him a piece of her mind… but there were more important things to attend to first.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Yuri pulled both of her sons into an embrace. “I don’t want either of you thinking any of this is your fault, understand?”

A low whine slipped from Rin’s throat. “But I—” 

“You are not your father, and you are not responsible for him,” Yuri said vehemently. If anyone was responsible for Satan, it was Yuri, but saying as much right now would have been counterproductive. “I’m calling your uncle and getting to the bottom of this.” She carefully extricated herself from her sons’ arms and strode to the house phone. She punched in Shirou’s cell phone number a bit more forcefully than entirely necessary.

“Hello?”

“Shirou, you have some explaining to do,” growled Yuri. She knew she was being vague, but in her opinion he deserved to shit his pants a little.

“Wh- Yuri—” Shirou spluttered, clearly caught off guard. “I was just about to call and tell you how well the kids did, did something happen?”

Even hearing about her sons’ performance during their first day of Cram School wasn’t enough of a distraction to dissuade Yuri. “How long were you going to hide from me what Satan did after I left?”

A beat passed while Fujimoto processed what she’d said. “Oh shit.”

“ ‘Oh shit’ is right,” Yuri said, fist on her hip. “You had fifteen years to bring up the Blue Night. So was it not important, or were you hiding this in some half-assed attempt to ‘protect’ us?” Shirou was silent on the line. “I’m waiting.”

“I couldn’t tell you the parts you needed to hear or answer the questions I knew you were going to ask,” said Shirou. “I still can’t. You can probably guess why.”

_A Morinas contract_. “They made you sign another one of those?” Yuri said disdainfully. The use of those cursed contracts shouldn’t have surprised her so much, but Yuri still resented the single contract she’d found herself under. 

Shirou gave a mirthless laugh. “Why wouldn’t they?” How many contracts had the Order forced on the former Paladin? He probably couldn’t even tell Yuri _that_.  
  
Yuri’s frown of concentration was nearly audible over the phone. “I still want you over here while I try to explain this to the boys,” she said. “I know you can’t add details, but you can still nod and shake your head. We’re owed that much.”

“You are. I’ll be over as soon as I can.” Shirou hung up without waiting for a response from Yuri. Sighing and dragging a hand over her face, she returned to the common room where her sons were waiting.

Yukio had regained his composure, but only in an attempt to calm his twin. Rin had progressed from openly crying to soft weeping thanks to his brother’s efforts. He hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor despite Yukio’s arms wrapped tightly around him.

“I’m going to explain more once your uncle gets here,” Yuri said softly, kneeling beside her sons once again. “I think I have a good idea of what happened, but I want him around to make sure I have my facts straight.”

“Why doesn’t he tell us about it himself, if he knows so much about it?” Yukio asked, growing more irritated once again in spite of his best efforts. “Why didn’t he tell us about this in the first place?”

Yuri rubbed Yukio’s upper arm soothingly. “I had the same questions. The Order swore your uncle to secrecy on some parts of the story. If he said anything, if he says anything, he could die or worse,” Yuri explained. The twins’ eyes widened nearly in unison.

“… _Worse_?” squeaked Rin.

Yuri continued. “He’s going to explain what he can, and then I’ll take over going off his cues.”

Yukio appeared satisfied by this, but Rin still looked uneasy. “Yukio can listen if he wants. I’m tired,” he said, rubbing at his eyes.

Both Yuri and Yukio looked at him like he’d grown a second head, but Yukio was the first to speak. “What?” Yukio exclaimed. “Nii-san, don’t you want to know what exactly it is our father did? Why it happened?”

“ **No! No, I know enough!** ” Rin cried out, shoving his brother away as his flames flared to life around him. He didn’t seem to notice his powers had slipped out— or that he’d started to speak in Gehennan. “ **He killed a bunch of people because he’s evil, that’s it! I know already! _Stop talking about him_!**”

“Rin, what has gotten into you?” Yuri’s voice held only concern for her son. Rin’s attention was diverted just enough for him to notice his flames had escaped; he stared down at his hands, horrified, and quickly suppressed his flames again. Yuri found herself worrying more rather than being reassured by the show of control. Back when they’d lived in the forest, Rin had never been disturbed by his own flames.

Watching Rin’s struggle with control had given Yukio an epiphany. “You’re afraid you’ll understand,” Yukio said softly, his eyes sad. “You don’t want to find yourself thinking you’d do the same thing, if you were in that situation.” 

Rin’s silence spoke volumes. Yuri opened her mouth to reassure him, but he didn’t let her get very far. “ **When the Exorcists were taking you away from me,** ” he muttered, looking at his mother, “ **I… I wanted to…** ” Guilty tears welled up in his eyes and Rin covered his mouth, ashamed. The understanding looks his family was giving him made him feel even worse. These emotions deserved no sympathy.

“You wanted to protect your family,” said Yuri, caressing her son’s cheek. “And even though you would have been more than justified, you still didn’t hurt them. That’s the difference between you and your father. ”

Rin wrapped his arms around himself and shrugged halfheartedly. Yuri could tell he didn’t quite believe her; it broke her heart. She wanted to try to further convince him, but Rin’s ears suddenly twitched and he turned towards the front of the dorm. “I think Uncle Shirou is here,” he said, finally managing to switch back to Japanese.

The twins’ uncle walked into the common area moments later, looking sheepish. Yukio looked nowhere near as angry as before, but still glared at Shirou with an uncharacteristic petulance. Yuri was tempted to show her frustration as well before ultimately thinking better of it. The reactions of the twins were probably making him feel guilty enough already.

Shirou kneeled down next to where everyone else was sitting. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to warn you all earlier,” he said solemnly. “So many of those kids are survivors… I should have known they’d bring it up.”

Yuri thought she should have been told at least a decade ago, if not earlier, but didn’t voice her thoughts. He already knew her thoughts on the matter. She could tell from Yukio’s expression that he also thought he and his brother should have been informed much earlier.

“Well, we’re ready to hear about it now,” Yukio said firmly. “Why did Satan kill all those people that night? Was it because of us?”

Shirou shook his head and Yuri elaborated. “It was because of me. To find me. I’m not even sure he understood I was pregnant,” she said, folding her hands in her lap. Thinking back, she could remember him noting her scent had changed but without any clue as to why. By the time she’d started to show, they’d been separated. There was a chance Satan was unaware of his sons’ existence— and Yuri hoped it stayed that way for as long as possible.  
Realizing her thoughts had wandered, she returned to her explanation. “Satan and I were in the same facility. We were separated, but he could sense I was still in the same area as him. When I escaped, my best guess is he sensed I was gone and began possessing Exorcists all over to try to find me.” Shirou confirmed Yuri’s theory with a solemn nod. She felt guilty for leaving out so much, such as the Order owning the facility they’d been in… but that would have led to questions about Section 13 neither adult could answer without a Contract activating.

Yuri didn’t need to reveal any further information for Yukio to do what he did best. “What do you mean by ‘facility? Did— Did the Order imprison you while you were pregnant with us?”

She was surprised her son had hit the nail on the head so quickly. Maybe it shouldn’t have been as much of a shock; Yukio had seen the Order imprison both his mother and brother quite recently. “Technically, they were giving me medical care… but just barely,” she said quietly. As much as she loved her sons, she’d been miserable for so much of her pregnancy with them. Fifteen years later, she could still feel the fear and loneliness of that time as if it were yesterday. “There was nothing to do but lie in bed all day. It was sapping my strength even more than the pregnancy itself. My midwife saved the three of us the day she helped me escape.” Even knowing the cost was a massacre, Yuri couldn’t bring herself to regret her decision to flee. If she’d stayed, she was sure she and her sons wouldn’t be here today.

Yuri hadn’t thought about Florence in a long while. She had given up months of her life to help Yuri, doing everything from helping her give birth in her cabin to staying to make sure she and her babies were alright until Yuri had recovered fully. After Florence had left to report the twins’ “stillbirth” to the order, she’d never returned. Yuri wondered if she was still in the Order or at least living in True Cross somewhere.

Rin, surprisingly, was the one to bring the subject back to Satan. “So he w-wasn’t looking for you to save you. It was so he could have you back with him,” Rin stated. He looked oddly reassured by this selfish behavior on his father’s part; his fears of relating to Satan’s motivations had been allayed.

“That’s my guess,” Yuri said. She hesitated for a moment before adding, “Well, either that or he wanted to kill me himself for leaving him.” The twins were too old for her to justify pulling any punches as far as their father went; it was important for them to know exactly how dangerous he was. It didn’t stop her from feeling a pang of guilt upon seeing the twins’ horrified expressions. 

“What made him stop? …Or is he still looking for you?” Yukio asked.

Shirou shrugged. “Nobody knows what made him stop. My guess is he ran out of potential bodies.” Which was technically true, but not the entire truth; there was one eligible body left, one Satan had been fixating on for the last fifteen years. Shirou’s.  
There was no point in telling Yuri or the boys and inciting unnecessary panic. Even at his lowest point during the Blue Night, Shirou hadn’t given Satan any purchase in his mind. Nowadays, Satan periodically prodded at his barriers, got bored when Shirou didn’t react… and that was about it. “I don’t think he’s going to be bothering anyone for a while.”  
  
Yuri looked suspicious, but the twins seemed to take Shirou at his word. Yukio continued his rapid-fire questioning.

“I’m guessing most Exorcists don’t know all this,” Yukio said, folding his arms across his chest.

Shirou gave a dry chuckle. “Course not,” he said. “As far as most people know, the Blue Night was Satan attacking humanity just because he could.”

“More secrets,” said Rin glumly. He was only one day into his first semester and having to hide so much from his classmates was quickly becoming exhausting. Rin had no clue how Yukio had managed it all this time.

“I wouldn’t worry, Nii-san. It’s not like they’re going to ask us about why the Blue Night happened,” Yukio said with all the calm expertise of someone who’d been hiding things from his classmates for years on end.

Rin frowned. “I guess…” Yukio’s roommate and his friends were probably going to ask other questions, but they were more likely to be about Rin’s own reactions. “They’re probably gonna ask you a bunch of questions once you go back to your room, though. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll come up with something,” replied Yukio, shrugging. 

The rest of the evening passed awkwardly yet uneventfully. Dinner was quieter than usual; she gently prodded both of the twins for more information about their first day of school, but neither had more than a few sentences to say. It was behavior she expected from Yukio, who had been through plenty of first days at this point— the same behavior was unsettling coming from Rin. Yuri hoped it was simply exhaustion and not something more serious.   
Eventually Shirou left for the monastery and Yukio left for his dorm, leaving Rin and Yuri alone in the old dormitory once again. Yuri decided not to prod her son any further; he would talk on his own time. She told him good night and then left him alone, heading to bed.

Awakening several hours later to a pair of glowing blue eyes in the darkness should have shocked her more than it did. “What’s wrong, Rin?”

“Sorry for waking you up. I, um, I couldn’t sleep,” Rin said, the bright eyes quickly darting to the floor. “Can I sleep in here tonight?”

“Of course,” Yuri replied almost instantly. It’d been years since Rin had done this last, but they both needed the comforting familiarity of times past after today. She patted the space next to her on the bed. “Come here.” Rin clambered onto the bed, the same way he had when he was five and had a nightmare. Even though Rin now towered over her, she still thought of him as her little boy. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Rin shook his head and snuggled closer to his mother. He radiated heat more effectively than some space heaters; Rin had always run warm, of course, but Yuri had forgotten precisely how much so until now. She reached up and gently ruffled his icy white locks, smiling to herself when she heard the slow, rhythmic thump of his tail against the mattress.   
With one of her sons by her side, she felt no regret for the decisions she’d made. Her sons were alive, and safe, and she was lucky enough to be around to watch them grow up. That was all Yuri needed to know she’d made the right choice sixteen years ago.


	3. A chance meeting

Unlocking the door to his dorm room, Yukio wasn’t surprised to find Suguro’s friends were over. Three heads turned in unison towards him as he stepped in. Yukio had no reason to feel as paranoid as he did, but he was still surprised to see the looks of relief on their faces. If they were suspicious, the trio were doing a very good job of hiding it.

“Oh good, Okumura-kun’s back,” Miwa sighed happily. “When you and your brother left that upset, we were worried…”

Yukio gave his most inoffensive smile. “It’s alright, we got all the confusion sorted out.”

“Okumura, listen,” Suguro ground out, fiddling with the mandala on his wrist, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize—”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Yukio held up a hand. He could only hope he appeared easygoing and not deeply uncomfortable. The irony of someone whose family died in the Blue Night apologizing to _him_ was almost laughable. “My brother and I were going to find out about it eventually, right? Better now than later.” 

“I can’t imagine what it’d be like, growing up thinking your family was the only one targeted,” Konekomaru said. His thick glasses magnified his brown eyes, making him look even more doe-eyed and innocent. Yukio felt guilt settle in his stomach like a lead weight. It wasn’t often he truly felt bad for lying— there was no sense feeling guilty over surviving —but he’d never been faced with anyone who has lost as much to Satan as Konekomaru had.

Yukio winced. “We were very lucky,” he murmured. “Our family is from such an isolated place that we weren’t really affected.”

“Then why’d your brother get so upset?” Shima asked. His tone was light and casual as ever, but there was a calculating glint in his warm brown eyes. He had an uncanny knack for asking just the right questions to keep Yukio on his toes.

“ _Shima_!”

“You don’t have to answer that, Okumura,” Suguro said, glaring at his pink-haired friend.

Yukio gave another appeasing smile. Anyone who knew him well knew it was the sort of smile he only showed when he was lying through his teeth— but thankfully, his roommate and his friends didn’t know Yukio very well at all. “It’s alright,” he said, ignoring the urge to punch Shima in the face for making his life that much harder. “I don’t know if you noticed, but Nii-san can be sensitive and a bit anxious.” 

“No,” deadpanned Suguro. “The kid who has panic attacks at the drop of a hat had another one. Was that the dramatic reveal you’d hoped for, Shima?”

Shima ruffled his own hair with a remorseful expression. “Aw, you know I didn’t mean it like that…”

“It’s really okay,” Yukio insisted. “I know my brother’s behavior can be strange sometimes.” He smiled again, this time with genuine warmth. “It means a lot that you’ve all been so kind. You have no idea how nervous he was to start Cram School.” Rin would be mortified if he knew his younger brother was sharing this kind of information, but laying a few seeds of truth was better than allowing Shima’s questions to sow doubt among their classmates.

“How could anyone be mean to Egin-kun?” Konekomaru said, aghast. “He doesn’t seem like he could hurt a fly.”

“Yeah, he’s honestly so harmless I’m worried about him becoming an Exorcist,” added Suguro. “No offense, Okumura, but I can’t exactly picture your brother going toe-to-toe with a demon.”

Remembering the impromptu sparring matches between Rin and just about anyone who would agree when they were children, Yukio barely stifled a laugh. “I wouldn’t worry about Nii-san in that regard. He can hold his own when he has to.” Rin was no trained combatant and hated harming others, but what he lacked in skill and enthusiasm he made up for in sheer power. Yukio only hoped his class would never be in a situation where Rin felt desperate enough to show the full extent of his strength and abilities. He’d rather Rin be viewed as the shy, good-natured person he generally was than feared for his potential.

Renzou cleared his throat. “A-ny-ways, what’s up with there only being two girls in our class?” In response to the chorus of groans and eyerolls, he exclaimed, “Come on, I know you guys are thinking the same thing!”

* * *

One of the bright sides of only going to Cram School, Rin had found, was he was able to spend the rest of the day as he pleased while his brother and classmates were in regular classes. Today, he and his mother were finally going grocery shopping for their new home for the first time. The grocery store in True Cross Town was larger and brighter than any of the ones near their old forest home. They’d gone in with a list and were quickly detoured by the sheer variety. Even Tsukuba City’s stores hadn’t had such a wide selection available; Rin was in heaven. It’d taken Yuri a good ten minutes just to coax him away from the produce section. 

“Yuri?”

Rin’s mother looked around to see who had called her name, searching for a few moments before her eyes finally landed on a familiar-looking man. Half of his face was marred by burn scars, but she’d recognize the auburn hair now streaked through with grey anywhere. “ _Rick_?”

He broke into a wide grin. “Holy shit, it’s actually you! It feels like forever since I’ve seen you. How’ve you been, Yuri?” Rick pulled her into a big hug which she happily returned. He glanced over her shoulder at Rin curiously, who shied from the attention. “Is this your son?”

“Oh! Yes, of course,” Yuri said, smiling. “Rin, this is my friend Rick. We went to school together.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rin said, bowing politely. He found his eyes drawn to the burn scar on the man’s face, no matter how hard he tried to keep himself from staring. His stomach flipped and twisted with guilt as his suspicions rose; there was a vanishingly small chance that someone like Rick in his line of work had been burned by anything other than the Blue Night. Why was he being so friendly to Rin? Did he not know?

“Good to see you and Shirou finally got together,” Rick said with a wink. Yuri turned bright red. Rin barely kept his jaw from dropping. “You look _just like_ your father!”

It took Rin a few shocked moments to fully process his mother’s friend had assumed _Shirou_ was his father. Yuri placed a hand on his shoulder, not skipping a beat. “Doesn’t he?”

Rin felt as if his eyes were going to bug out of his head. He hadn’t expected (or wanted) his mother to announce their heritage in a grocery store, but lying like this felt like being backed into a corner they were going to regret later. He could feel the unease and guilt rolling off his mother in waves.

Rick didn’t seem to notice any of this distress. “You all should come over for dinner some time, see Makiko and the kids,” he continued. “Kai’s grown up a lot since you’ve last seen him, Yuri, and you haven’t even met Hana and Naomi yet.”

“I would love to,” Yuri sighed wistfully. “I’m sorry it’s been so long, Rick—”

Rick held up a hand. “No hard feelings, I’m just happy to see you again,” he said warmly. “You were really busy with that new position, then things were pretty crazy for all of us after the Blue Night…”

Yuri’s laugh was noticeably strained. “You have no idea.” Yuri cleared her throat and continued, “Well, we’d better get back to getting groceries, but it was so good to see you, Rick. We should trade numbers and figure out a good time to have that dinner.”

It was only after the two adults had traded numbers and Rick had gone on his merry way that they let their guard down. Once they’d exited the store and started making their way back to the dorm, Rin began blurting out questions.

“Are we really going to have dinner with his family? Are you going to tell him about us?”

“I'm not sure— I need time,” Yuri said, uncharacteristically frazzled. “I’ll come up with something.” Whether it was before or after the dinner (if the dinner happened at all), she had no clue how she was going to gently break the truth of the twins’ parentage to Rick. There was an incredibly high chance she’d lose Rick in the process, right after finding him again. Her heart ached at the thought. Would he hate her? What if he took out his anger on her sons?  
She knew the smartest thing would be to lose Rick’s number and ignore his phone calls. But part of her, the selfish part that longed to reconnect with her old friend, considered keeping up their accidental ruse for a little longer. Just long enough for one dinner with them all together. Then she’d tell Rick the truth. What was so horrible about that?  
Yuri would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit pretending to be Shirou’s partner didn’t have its own appeal. She was perfectly happy with the friendship they had now, but the thought of walking into Rick’s house hand in hand still made her heart flutter. Her crush, no matter how hidden she kept it, had never fully faded. It wasn’t the reason Yuri wanted to go through with the dinner… but it wasn’t a downside, either.

Her son continued to press. “Why did he think Uncle Shirou was my father?” Rin asked, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

Yuri’s blush returned with a vengeance. She could think of few things more mortifying than revealing a crush that spanned most of her life to her teenage son. Lying to him didn’t feel right either. Yuri would tell her boys when they were older. Much older. “I’m not sure. Maybe your hair color gave him the idea?” Yuri had to get on her tiptoes to ruffle Rin’s white locks. Rick clearly had heard nothing about the recent trials or Yuri’s earlier desertion of the Order; Yuri doubted he knew she’d met Satan, let alone had children with him. The details of her life had been kept more under wraps by True Cross than she’d thought. Part of her was relieved— she didn’t need busybodies bothering her or her sons about Satan any more than they did already —but the secrecy had its complications. 

“I guess that makes sense.” Rin wasn’t entirely convinced by his mother’s explanation, but no other alternative was coming to him. Instead, his thoughts went to the scar that took up Rick’s neck and cheek and crept up towards his eye. He didn’t want to bring it up, but Rin had to know or he’d be kept awake by the question. “Ma, did he… did he have that scar when you saw him last?”

Yuri shook her head, frowning. They needed no words to know they’d both come to the same sickening conclusion.

This was his mother’s friend. Rin had no right telling his own mother to do anything, especially when he was hiding his parentage from his own classmates— but Rick deserved to know who exactly he’d invited into his home, didn’t he? Rin hated that his mere existence could ruin the rekindling of his mother’s friendship before it even started. “I-I don’t want him to be mad at you because of me, but I don’t want to lie…”

“Rin, it is _not_ your fault! Not one bit, do you understand?” Yuri locked eyes with her son until he finally nodded, pulling him into her arms to run a hand through his hair. She didn’t know what she’d been thinking, trying to go along with the misconception Rick had about their family. Continuing this ruse might have prolonged her friendship with Rick, but she wouldn’t have deserved a moment of it. The best thing she could do for her old companion is be truthful with him. “This was all my choice,” Yuri said firmly. “I don’t regret it, and I’m not going to lie about it to one of my oldest friends.” She ruffled her son’s hair affectionately. “I don’t want you worrying about any of this, alright?”

Rin nodded mutely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I guess my posting schedule is just, er, prolonged now. Once again I can't overstate how much I appreciate everyone's kudos and comments, they really raise my spirits! This was one of those chapters I wrestled with for a VERY long time before things came together. No ETA on the next chapter yet, but I anticipate it being on the longer side : )


	4. Shiemi

“Wake up, Rin, your uncle is here!”

Rin blearily opened his eyes, squinting as sunlight streamed in from the windows. It took a moment for him to process what his mother was saying— then he jumped out of bed, racing to put on his school uniform. Had he somehow slept through Cram School? It didn’t feel that late in the day, but Rin still wasn’t used to having follow an actual schedule of any sort.   
He skidded around a corner to the dormitory kitchen, only to find his mother and uncle casually talking over breakfast and cups of coffee. “…I didn’t miss Cram School?” Rin didn’t know whether to be relieved or pissed off.

Both adults gave him confused looks. “What? Dear, it’s 9 in the morning,” his mother told him gently, which made Fujimoto laugh hysterically.

“One of those mornings where you wake up not knowing which direction is up, huh, kid?” Shirou said, cracking a grin. 

Rin gave his uncle his best moody glare, futilely attempting to fix his bedhead. “ ‘Snot funny,” he muttered. He looked back and forth between his mother and uncle; he usually wouldn’t give their friendly conversation any mind, but the meeting with his mother’s old friend yesterday still weighed on him. Had they ever been more than friends? He was the last person who’d be able to tell, Rin realized with dismay; Rin barely knew what regular friendship looked like, let alone romance. It was too gross for him to think about for too long, anyways. Either way, their relationship didn’t seem any different from how it’d always been. “Why’re you here so early, anyways?”

“I’m taking you on an adventure today,” Fujimoto said, standing up and taking one last swig from his mug. “I’m glad you already got dressed in your Exwire uniform, you’ll need it.”

Rin’s tail twitched behind him as he pointed at himself hesitantly. “M- _Me_? You’re taking just me on an exorcism trip with you? Nobody else?” 

“Well you’re the only one who isn’t in classes right now, aren’t you?” Rin had to admit his uncle had a point. “Besides, if we’re going to get you to pass that Exorcist Exam in the time they want, we’re going to need to get you as much experience as we can in what time we have.”

“That makes sense…” Rin scratched his head, ignoring the sinking feeling he got from the reminder of the Exorcist Exam. “Should I bring anything?”

“The best part of _this_ mission is that we can get supplies there,” Fujimoto said cheerily. “But you probably should tuck in your tail at the very least.”

After a hastily scarfed down breakfast and a quick glamour application, Rin was ready. “So you said you’d get supplies there, right? Where is this place?” Rin wondered how far of a walk it would be; he didn’t know the sprawling, labyrinthine True Cross campus at all.

“Not far at all, since we’ll be using a key,” Shirou said, ambling over to a locked utility door and inserting a small, golden key in the keyhole. “Want anything from the supply shop, Yuri?”

Yuri arched a brow. “What for?”

“Old habits,” Shirou said, flustered as he straightened the lapels of his coat. “Well, let’s get going, Rin!”

No matter how many times Rin had used a magic key, opening up a door to some new, logic-bending location never ceased to amaze him. The small utility closet opened to a massive brick walkway leading to what Rin could only describe as a castle. Peeking over the walkway, Rin could see the rest of True Cross Town below. The castle looked like a floating mossy rock in the clear blue sky. “ _This_ is where exorcists get supplies?” He’d always pictured some grey, dingy storehouse somewhere, not something out of a storybook!

Shirou paused and looked up at the massive building as if with new eyes. “It does look pretty cool, doesn’t it? That said, non-exorcists aren’t allowed inside. You’re going to need to wait out here, Rin,” Fujimoto said. “Don’t touch anything, got it?”

Rin nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets. He was nervous about staying outside alone, but figured his uncle wouldn’t leave him if there was a chance someone would show up and start bothering him. The place was pretty deserted right now and there were a few trees and shrubs Rin could use to shelter himself from the view of the main path. Shirou began his trek up the last flight of stairs to the exorcism shop. Rin turned away from the main road to admire some of the foliage when a massive gate caught his eye. The boy crept towards it; he couldn’t touch anything, but he could certainly look, couldn’t he?  
Inside the gate was the most beautiful garden he’d ever seen. It was massive and filled with green, vibrant life that made him miss his forest dearly. He couldn’t help but get even closer, wanting to soak up even more of the landscape.

It was then that he spotted her. There was a girl sitting in the garden, wearing the kind of bright, colorful kimono he associated with festivals he’d never stepped foot in. She was pretty and the expression on her face was kind and welcoming.   
The boy was pulled out of his thoughts by the feeling of a static shock on his finger, then the loud clattering of the gate as it fell to the ground. He stood there in shock, feeling the blood drain out of his face; had he done this? He must have brushed against the gate without thinking and broken some sort of ward… “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“D-Demon!” The girl cried, making Rin wince. An acrid tang hung in the air that could have been the smell of a broken ward… or the scent of overwhelming fear. “Get away from me!” She scooted backwards on her bottom away from him, which struck Rin as strange. Why didn’t she stand up and run?

“Wait, are you hurt?” Rin slowly made his way towards her, concerned; he didn’t know much about medicine, but he could carry her up to where Uncle Shirou was if need be. The girl squeaked in fear again, turning over so that she could start crawling away on her knees.

“Help! Somebody— agh!” She tumbled over and sprawled out on the ground, visibly shaking. 

Rin knew he probably didn’t want her anywhere near him, but he had to make sure she was alright. “I-I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise,” he said softly, squatting next to her. “Are you okay? Why aren’t you using your legs?”

She pushed herself up on her arms, staring up at the white-haired boy with a surprised expression. The girl turned over so that she was sitting down again. “I’m not hurt,” she said, dusting off the front of her clothing. “My legs were like this before.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Rin said awkwardly, flushing pink. Was that the right thing to say? Not being able to use your legs was probably hard. She seemed to get around well enough if the state of the garden was any indication. “…Is this your garden? It’s beautiful.”

It was the girl’s turn to flush now, brimming with pride. “It’s my Granny’s garden, actually,” she said. “I love this garden, just like I love— loved her. This winter, she died in an accident… now she’s gone ahead to the Garden of Amahara, so I’m taking care of her garden for her.” Her smile was soft and sad.

Rin wasn’t sure what to say to that, either. He didn’t know her well enough to comfort her, and he felt strange apologizing for the second time in a row. It was probably better to just change the subject. “What’s the Garden of Amahara?”

“You don’t know? It’s a garden hidden somewhere in Assiah, and it has all the plants in the world in one place!” 

The way her face lit up made Rin smile, too. “That sounds so cool... Are you gonna go there one day?”

She shook her head and laughed. “Of course not! It’s just a story, after all. And even if it was real, I can’t exactly go anywhere with my legs like this.” The smile faded from her face. “But if it was… I would want to go there someday, I think.” Rin’s heart ached for her; he knew what it was like to be trapped in one place. “Oh! I’m forgetting my manners. I’m Moriyama Shiemi,” she said, holding out her hand. “Friends?”

“Yeah!” Rin grinned and shook Shiemi’s hand, so happy to hear the word ‘friend’ that he forgot about his fangs and clawed hands. “I’m Egin Rin, but everyone calls me Rin.” 

Shiemi began to twirl a lock of blonde hair around her finger. “I’m sorry for calling you a demon, Rin-kun. When the barrier gate broke, it really scared me… but I can see you’re a kind person now.” Rin didn’t know what to make of her apology. Did she not think he was a demon anymore because he was nice? Or did she just stop caring? 

“Rin!” The boy heard his uncle call from behind him. He turned to face the priest, grimacing. There was a woman about Ma’s age behind him, wearing the same sort of clothes as Shiemi and smoking a pipe. She was giving Rin a very suspicious look; Shiemi didn’t seem to know he was the son of Satan, but he'd be willing to bet this woman sure did. “I told you not to touch anything, and what do you do?”

“It was an accident,” Rin mumbled, fiddling with his tie nervously. 

Shirou gave a long-suffering sigh before turning his attention to Shiemi. He gave her a friendly smile. “How are you doing, Shiemi-chan? I hope Rin wasn’t bothering you too much.”

Rin was grateful to see Shiemi shake her head in response. “You know each other?” She asked.

Fujimoto grinned. “Of course! His mother and I are good friends,” he said. Before, Rin wouldn’t have thought anything of Fujimoto’s statement; now, he looked at his uncle’s expression closely, hoping to catch any hidden meaning behind his words. He was as infuriatingly opaque as ever.

The woman cleared her throat and stepped forward. “Shiemi, Fujimoto-sensei is here to take a look at your legs.”

Shiemi gave a frustrated huff and clenched her hands into fists. “I told you, Mother, I-I haven’t talked to any demons!” Rin nearly opened his mouth to say she’d talked to at least one, but a look from his uncle shut him up.

“Just let me take a quick look,” Fujimoto said, in the same voice he’d used when the twins were hurt and he needed to examine them. “If there’s nothing there, no harm done, right?”

Shiemi stared at him for a few long moments before finally nodding, allowing Fujimoto to pull one of her legs out from underneath her kimono. Rin breathed in sharply at the sight; they looked just like— 

“Roots,” Shirou said aloud. “This is a mashou, no doubt about it. Probably from a low-level demon located in this garden.” He looked over at Rin. “Can you sense anything?”

Rin closed his eyes and reached out with his demonic senses. Now that he was searching for it, the entire garden definitely had some sort of faint demonic energy… but it was difficult for him to pinpoint, even with his enhanced demonic sense. The demon was simply too weak and spread too thinly. “It feels like roots. I can’t track it down to a single place, it’s all over,” he admitted.

“I knew it was this— this accursed garden!” Shiemi’s mother blurted, balling her hands into fists. She turned to her daughter, fire in her eyes. “Shiemi, you are to leave this garden at once! I don’t care how important it was to your grandmother, it’s not worth your health!”

“I don’t care what happens to me, as long as Granny’s garden is safe!” Shiemi shouted right back. There was a surprising amount of venom in her voice. “You can’t take this away from me! _I hate you!_ ”

Suddenly, Shiemi slumped to the ground like a marionette with cut strings. “Shiemi!” Her mother cried. Fujimoto managed to catch her right before her head hit the earth, but it was a close thing. Rin could hear her breathing, ragged and shallow. It made his own heart pound and his flames roil in his chest; he’d known Shiemi for less than an hour, but he wanted nothing more than to burn the demon that was hurting her.

“The demon is draining a lot of her energy,” Fujimoto explained. “It’d probably be best if we got her out of the garden and into a bed. Is her room nearby?”

* * *

Shiemi’s makeshift bedroom in the garden shed was making Rin homesick. The setup was obviously quite different from his family’s log cabin in the woods, but it had the same sort of cozy, humble feeling to it. It was almost enough to make him forget he was in the bedroom of a girl he’d just met. He sat cross-legged next to Shiemi’s futon and waited for her to wake up, feeling too awkward to even dare walk around the room. Uncle Shirou had insisted he guard Shiemi while he further prepared his exorcism supplies; Rin hoped she wouldn’t be too angry at any unintentional invasion of privacy. Looking too closely around her room felt too creepy, but so did watching her sleep— so instead, Rin fixed his gaze on one point on the wall and hoped she’d wake up soon.

His wishes were answered when Shiemi stirred moments later. “Oh, good, you’re awake.”

Shiemi pushed herself into a sitting position, arms trembling. She looked pale and spent. A light sheen of sweat shone on her brow. “I feel awful,” she said. “What happened?”

“Demons use the weak in human hearts,” Rin said. Even he could feel her vulnerability, though he felt none of the urge to exploit it a full demon would. He swore he could feel her grief and exhaustion in his own heart, heavy and aching. “When you got mad at your mom, whatever demon has been hurting your legs took the chance to take even more.”

Shiemi’s grip tightened on her comforter. “Even you believe her…”

“I don’t have to believe her, I can see it for myself,” said Rin. In a moment of bravery, he pulled back the covers and exposed Shiemi’s legs. The roots had thickened and grown. “Look! If you don’t do something, it’s going to kill you—”

“No, it won’t! It promised,” Shiemi cried out, tears springing to her eyes. “We’re taking care of Granny’s garden together. Everything will be okay as long as I stay in the garden.”

So she _had_ struck a deal. “Do you really want to stay here forever?” Rin asked softly. “My life used to be a lot like yours,” he continued. “I couldn’t go to school or have any friends. I know how lonely it is.” As much as he had loved his own forest, the unending solitude was something he didn’t miss. 

“I’m not lonely,” Shiemi insisted. “I’ve always liked plants more than people. I’m happy just taking care of Granny’s garden.”

Rin frowned. “Happy people aren’t targeted by demons,” he replied. “And they wouldn’t be rooting you here if some part of you didn’t want to leave.” Demons rarely wasted their energy on trapping people who had no intention of leaving.

“If I leave, the garden dies!” Shiemi wailed. “All of Granny’s hard work, all the love she put into caring for every plant… If it all dies… What am I supposed to do?”

“Do you think your Granny would want this for you?” Rin’s gaze turned pointedly to the torturous, ropelike roots that choked her legs. “Do you think she would want you to torture yourself for the sake of some plants?”

Shiemi’s soft sobs were the only sound in the room for several long moments. “N-No,” she said once she regained enough composure to speak, her voice quivering. “Sh-She always wanted me to explore, t-to find to real Garden of Amahara… and now I can’t even move my legs at all!” The sorrow in her voice quickly turned to fear and panic. Rin heard the creaking and rustling of roots moving, trying to find their way to the earth.

Father Fujimoto slammed open the door at just the right moment. If Rin hadn’t been focused on preparing to fight, he would have suspected his uncle of eavesdropping. “Get her outside, that dekalp is going to manifest any second!”

Rin didn’t know enough to know whether manifesting was good or bad, but he figured the Moriyamas wouldn’t be happy if roots ruined the floors in Shiemi’s room. He snatched her up and ran outside, only to be knocked away from her moments later by the appearance of the stem of a gigantic pansy. Shiemi, thankfully, appeared unconscious and unaware of her predicament.

“ _A voice says, ‘Cry!’_ ” Fujimoto called out. There was a clear, ringing quality to his words; he sounded different from when he normally spoke in a way Rin couldn’t place. It reminded Rin of the whistles people used for dogs that humans apparently couldn’t hear— piercing, demanding attention. “ _And I said, ‘What shall I cry?’_ ”  
The demon shrieked and threw vines every which way towards the disgraced priest, all of which he deftly dodged. Rin watched in awe before remembering that he was supposed to be helping his uncle. Since he was trying to chant the dekalp’s Fatal Verse, it was best for Rin to try to distract it, right?  
“ _All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field,_ ” Shirou continued. Rin scrambled to his feet and allowed his flames to rise to the surface, coating him in a blue glow; he stood directly in front of his uncle, incinerating projectiles as they came. “ _The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass._ ” The demon let out another unearthly shriek and attempted to charge. Rin couldn’t push the demon away from the front without the threat of breaking Shiemi’s ribs, so he nimbly ducked behind it and pulled on its roots with all of its strength. He managed to keep the dekalp from moving any further towards Fujimoto, gritting his teeth and snarling with the effort.   
Fujimoto grinned, red glasses glinting in the sunlight. “ _The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our Lord will stand forever!_ ”

The final word seemed to reverberate through the air. The demon shriveled into dust and disappeared, leading Shiemi to fall from the spot where it had been holding her up. Rin was able to catch her just in time, suppressing his flames moments before her eyes fluttered open. She looked spent, but the color had returned to her cheeks.

“Is it gone?” Shiemi asked weakly.

“U-Uh, yeah, I think—”

Rin sputtered and choked when Shiemi reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He’d never been hugged by anyone outside his family, let alone a girl he’d just met. “Thank you, thank you so much!”

“I-I didn’t really do anything,” Rin mumbled, turning pink. He could hear Fujimoto laughing in the background at his predicament. His uncle had done all of the chanting to actually kill the dekalp while Rin had simply shielded him. He hadn’t even been able to do that without relying on his flames. If he wanted to continue keeping his identity a secret from his classmates, Rin would need to figure out how to fight without using them at all— and fast.

Shiemi’s mother emerged into the garden, hand clasped over her mouth. “Shiemi?”

“Mother!” Shiemi jumped from Rin’s arms, rushing over to her mother on wobbly legs. As mother and daughter shared an embrace, swapping apologies and promises, Shirou stepped towards Rin and leaned down to talk into his ear.

“Give yourself some credit,” Shirou said, smiling. “Without you convincing her to resist the demon, my Fatal Verse wouldn’t have done much. You did a good job, Rin.” He clapped his nephew on the shoulder. “Looks like you’ve got the makings of an Exorcist after all.”  
If this was what exorcism was like, Rin thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to become one after all. He didn’t mind fighting demons who were obviously harming others. Though Shiemi had been frightened by him at first, the fact that she’d warmed up to him over time gave Rin a bit more confidence. The concept of interacting with the general public still made him break out into a cold sweat, but maybe meeting new people individually wasn’t so terrible. Part of him couldn’t wait to become an Exorcist so he could visit his new friend whenever he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Fatal Verse for the Dekalp is Isaiah 40:6-8, and I used the English Standard Version translation. Coming up with a Fatal Verse was pretty fun, honestly! I hope I can do it again sometime : )  
> I'm so excited to finally introduce Shiemi into this AU! I miss her so much in canon... I hope you guys like this chapter! I read all the reviews and appreciate every single kudos. <3 Time to start working on the next one!


	5. door closes, window opens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new addition joins the Cram School.

“Good news!” Shirou announced, “We have a new student joining our class today. Moriyama-chan, do you mind introducing yourself?”

Rin had been doodling in his notebook but sat up alert when he heard the familiar name. When a blonde girl in a kimono walked through the door, he grinned widely and began shaking his brother’s shoulder. “That’s my new friend I was telling you about!” Rin whispered, barely able to contain his excitement. Shiemi gave a small wave to him and he responded in kind. He hadn’t known she’d be joining their class! Rin was thrilled to be classmates with a friend he’d made entirely on his own without Yukio’s help.

Shiemi faltered for a moment when she got to the front of the classroom, but meeting Rin’s eyes seemed to bolster her spirits. “My name is Moriyama Shiemi and it’s nice to meet you all,” she said, bowing deeply. “I-I don’t know if I actually want to be an Exorcist yet, but I’m excited to learn and grow with you all!”

After the customary chorus of welcomes, it was time for Shiemi to choose a desk. Rin beamed at her and patted the empty one next to where he and Yukio were sitting. The consternation in Shiemi’s expression eased and she made a beeline for the spot. Their other classmates simply looked on with bewildered amusement— except for Shima, who was glaring at Rin like he’d just been robbed.

“I didn’t know you were gonna join our class, Shiemi-chan,” Rin said. He held his arm close to his chest to keep his tail from wagging underneath his shirt. “This is my brother, Yukio.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Moriyama-san. Nii-san has told me a lot about you,” Yukio said with a polite smile. 

Shiemi’s cheeks became dusted with light patches of pink. “I—”

Father Fujimoto cleared his throat loudly. “Let’s save the socialization for breaks,” he chided. The trio immediately went silent; Rin could feel his ears growing hot with embarrassment. 

Cram School continued without incident. Rin found his note-taking was finally starting to improve; his handwriting was still sloppy and nigh-unreadable, but it was easier to follow along with Fujimoto’s lecture when he only took notes on things that were new or sounded like they could be important.  
For once, Rin wasn’t the least experienced person in their class. Shiemi had even less experience than him with formal classroom settings. She was coping admirably, but the half-demon noticed she was struggling with many of the same things he did. He was talking to her about tips and tricks when Suguro and his friends ambled up to their desks.

“That your _girlfriend_ , Egin?” Suguro asked. Rin couldn’t sense any malice in his question, but the way his brother’s roommate was smiling made him think something had to be up. Was this a joke he and Shiemi were supposed to be in on, or was it at their expense?

Rin glanced over at Shiemi looking up at him expectantly, then back at Suguro. “Sh-She’s my friend,” mumbled Rin, bright red from the neck up.

Shiemi beamed and wrapped a slender, sun-tanned arm around Rin’s. Rin half expected a tail to pop out the bottom of her kimono and start wagging. His own was curled tight underneath his shirt as he tensed, ready to jump away at the first indication she’d try to hug him. He doubted Shiemi was ready to find out he had an extra limb. “That’s right! We’re great friends!” Shiemi chirped.

Several emotions battled for dominance within Rin. He was ecstatic to have his first real friend, someone who more than happy to loudly declare her friendship with him to anyone and everyone— but he didn’t want her to suffer any potential consequences for being his friend, either. And of course there was the underlying dread of how her opinion of him would change when (not if) his secret was revealed. He could only nod silently in agreement with Shiemi’s assertion, trying to calm his pounding heart. He wondered if anyone else could hear it or if he was overestimating human hearing.

As if sensing his brother’s distress, Yukio suddenly joined the small group. He placed a reassuring hand between Rin’s shoulder blades, giving Suguro such a piercing look it surprised him. “Suguro-san is just teasing you two,” he said, his green eyes boring into his Ryuji’s. “Right?”

“Yeah man, it was just a joke,” Ryuji said. He looked at Yukio strangely, but otherwise appeared apologetic. “Didn’t realize you’d take me so serious…” Shima barely stifled a small snort, only to play innocent when Yukio’s glare turned his way.

After Cram School, Shiemi had to help her mother at Futsumaya, so Rin accompanied his brother to the dormitory he shared with Suguro to study for their Scripture Recitation class. At the first opportunity, however, Renzou changed to subject to something more interesting.

“So where’d you meet such a cute girl, Egin-kun?” Shima asked, leaning in towards his classmate intently.

Rin’s flush returned. “The exorcist supply shop?” Belatedly, he realized he didn’t know how to explain to his classmates why he’d gone on a mission with his uncle without revealing they knew each other outside of being teacher and student. He rubbed the scruff at the back of his neck. “I-It was mostly on accident, really.”

Shima winked at him. “ _Sure_ it was.” Rin could only grimace awkwardly in response. The pink haired boy had always struck Rin as a little strange, but he was acting even odder than usual. 

“Stop teasing him, Shima,” Suguro grumbled. His eyes darted to Yukio for just a moment.

Shima waved a hand dismissively. “Not teasing, not teasing!” Renzou said in the sing-song voice only younger siblings could manage. “I’m just saying if he wants to make a move, Egin-kun better do it fast~” Rin stared at him blankly. He and Shiemi were already friends, so what moves would he have to make?

“Disregarding that you’re a monk,” Konekomaru said, annoyed, “I really doubt you’re Moriyama-san’s type, Shima.”

Oh. Shima had meant _those_ kinds of moves. Rin should have known with how perverted his classmate could be, but he was so sheltered that it honestly hadn’t been the first thing to come to mind. “How do you know?” Rin asked. Instinctively, even Rin could tell Shiemi getting together with Shima wasn’t likely to work… but how did people actually know who was interested in who? Rin usually had little issue with picking up with the emotions of others because of his demon half, but he was rarely conscious of it while it was actually happening. He could only pick out and identify specific emotions for his immediate family.

Vindicated, Renzou placed his hands on his hips and pouted. “Egin’s right! How do you know?”

“I-I didn’t mean like in this pacific situation,” Rin said, looking over at Shima sheepishly. A look from Yukio kept the rest of the boys quiet about Rin’s verbal mixup. Seemingly unaware of his mistake, Rin continued. This was a subject he knew less than nothing about. As long as he was hiding his heritage, dating was out of the picture for Rin… but maybe he could use this opportunity to decode his puzzling interaction with Rick. “How do you know if someone is interested in you? …Or if two people are interested in each other?”  
 _Or if they_ were _interested in each other_ , Rin wanted to add, but this line of questioning was too strange and embarrassing already. Even if this did help him figure out whether his mother and Father Fujimoto had a romantic history, Rin wasn’t entirely sure what he’d do with the information— or if he even wanted to know. If Shirou and his mother really had been involved with each other before Rin and his brother were conceived, what would knowing that do other than give him a sense of guilt over one more thing they had never chosen?

The Kyoto trio gave each other hesitant, embarrassed looks. Yukio’s gaze locked onto Rin; he clearly knew something was up with his brother and was trying to figure out precisely what it was. Though the sun had yet to go down completely, Rin swore he could see the subtle, green glint his twin’s eyes had in dim light and flash photographs.

Konekomaru was the first person to break the awkward silence. “None of us have actually been in a relationship yet,” he said, rubbing the prickly fuzz on top of his bald head.

Rin’s jaw dropped. “Really?” All the novels and manga he’d read made it seem like everyone got into relationships at their age, or at least started thinking about romance. Shima was girl-obsessed in an almost creepy way, sure, but he could hardly believe two guys as cool as Suguro and Miwa hadn’t had any luck yet. 

“Like Koneko said, we’re monks,” said Ryuji gruffly, crossing his arms. Upon seeing Rin’s blank, uncomprehending look, he sighed. “Our temple doesn’t do vows of chastity or anythin’ like that, but we’re not s’posed to focus on worldly desires like dating.” He gave Shima a pointed glare. “My studies are the priority right now.” Miwa nodded in agreement.

Yukio gave a small smile. “I agree that our studies should come first, Suguro-san,” he said, his eyes returning to Rin once again. Rin knew they were both right; he needed to pass the Exorcist Exam the very first time and any sort of distraction could endanger his chances. It didn’t matter whether the distraction was his mother’s past… or his new classmate.

Rin gave a small nod. “Um, I had a question about this word…”

Long after the study session was over and the twins had returned to the Old Boys’ Dormitory for dinner, Yukio was still preoccupied with Rin’s odd line of questioning. Though he was ostensibly working on his homework for his non-exorcism classes, he kept looking up from his work to stare at Rin while his older brother cooked. Even when Rin had his back turned, he could still feel Yukio’s eyes on his back, scanning him as if searching for something. But he said nothing.

The feeling of being scrutinized was beginning to drive Rin up a wall. He stuck his knife into his cutting board and turned back to face Yukio and said, “Can you just come out with what’s bothering you, Yukio?”

“Do you like Moriyama-san, Nii-san? Be honest,” Yukio said.

Rin twisted a lock of blue-white hair between his fingers, unable to meet his brother’s eyes. He could feel his face growing hot. He should have guessed this was where Yukio’s mind would go, but somehow it still caught Rin off guard. “I-I dunno,” mumbled Rin. He had to admit she was pretty, and kind, and he wanted to talk to her all the time… but did he want to be her friend, or something more? “I wasn’t really thinking about things that way until the other guys brought it up.” The possibility of dating had never crossed Rin’s mind until now. Before he’d come to the Academy, dating had only been for characters in books and movies.

Yukio frowned. “You need to be careful. I can’t tell you what to do, but—”

“I know.” Rin gripped his own forearm, feeling the faint prick of claws through his sleeve. Shiemi’s fearful yelp rang in his ears. _Demon_! He could only imagine how she’d react to how he looked as he actually was. And what kind of relationship could he have with someone if they didn’t really know him? That wasn’t even getting into the potential danger of their secret being exposed to the rest of the class. He smiled, though his heart sank. “I’m happy just being her friend.” Simply having friends was more than he’d ever dreamed of.   
There was a long lull in their conversation. Rin wanted to tell his brother the real reason he’d asked all those questions, but would it be pulling Yukio down this rabbit hole with him? Yukio had always had a tendency to overthink and ruminate on things. Any mysterious or frustrating information was prone to consume Rin’s younger brother for days or weeks at a time. If Rin was getting this preoccupied because of Rick’s comments… he feared to think of how Yukio might react. But he would react even worse to Rin withholding the information— and it was killing Rin to keep to himself.

“I didn’t ask about that stuff ‘cause of Shiemi-chan,” Rin confessed at last. “Ma told you about the old friend we met at the grocery store, right? Uncle Rick? Well some of the stuff he said was kinda weird, and it made me think— ”

“You think our mother and this man may have been involved with each other,” said Yukio, too impatient to get to the point to wait for Rin.

Rin shook his head, lacing his fingers in front of him as he leaned forward onto the kitchen counter. “He thought Uncle Shirou was my dad,” he said in a low voice. “It’s weird to think about, but why would he say that if they didn’t, you know…”

Yukio crossed one leg over the other, bouncing the leg on the bottom. He pushed up his glasses even though they were in no danger of sliding down. “It’s possible he was teasing her,” he argued. “Maybe it’s some sort of inside joke they never mentioned because it’s embarrassing.”

“Stop being Satan’s friend!” Rin exclaimed. His tail thwacked against the side of a cabinet with a loud thump. “I didn’t read the situation wrong, I know what they meant.”

“It’s ‘ _playing Devil’s advocate_ ’,” Yukio corrected automatically. “And I didn’t say you read the situation wrong. It just seems like a strange conclusion to jump to without any evidence. If they were romantically involved, in the past or now, why would they hide it from us?”

Yukio had a point. Fujimoto and their mother had a very jovial relationship; a past fling would absolutely be fair game for teasing (and for grossing the twins out with). And if they were currently involved, neither twin could imagine their mother keeping something so important from them for no reason. Rin’s anxious mind immediately went to tragedy. 

“What if they broke up because of Satan? Because Ma had us?” The thought gave even Yukio pause as the idea passed Rin’s lips. It wasn’t a wild conjecture. It almost sounded reasonable. Still, neither twin was sure what to make of the idea. It was painful to consider, for one thing; if it weren’t for them, how would things be different for their mother and the only father figure they’d known? Would they be together, have children who obviously weren’t Rin and Yukio? Thinking about what could have been was equal parts bizarre and guilt inducing. It was another ugly, obvious manifestation of how the world would be a better place if they’d never been born.

“Say that’s true,” said Yukio. “Let’s say our birth is the reason our mother isn’t with Father Fujimoto right now. What are we supposed to do with that? Feel guilty for existing? Play _Parent Trap_?”

One of Rin’s top fangs pressed gently on his bottom lip as he thought. To be honest, he didn’t have an answer— but before he could admit to it, his sharp ears picked out the sound of the front door opening. This conversation would have to wait for later. “Welcome home,” Rin called out, Yukio joining him in near-unison. Despite the heavy subjects they’d just been discussing, both boys managed to give their mother warm smiles.

The smiles didn’t last when they saw her red-rimmed eyes. Both twins abandoned what they were doing to crowd around their mother; they could recall only a handful of times where either of them could remember seeing her so upset. She was putting on a brave face, but Yukio was too observant and Rin too sensitive to fall for it.

“You’ve been crying,” stated Yukio, his brows furrowed. He hunched over to meet his mother’s eyes. “What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may not celebrate Christmas, but I wanted to give a little gift for those of you who do-- or who, like me, are sitting at home with nothing to do, lmao. I plan to post the next chapter on the 27th for the twins' birthday, and I promise it'll break your heart and then put it back together again >:)
> 
> As always, I really appreciate all the comments and kudos! Y'all have made this a pleasure to write and post. It's been over 2 years since I first started posting this series, and it's been a real ride! I'm looking forward to writing even more in 2021 : )


	6. just for this moment

The cafe Rick had invited Yuri to meet him at was one she remembered fondly from her days at the Demon Farm. It was exactly as dingy and run-down as she remembered— just the way Yuri liked it. She swore she recognized some of the books on the shelves lining the walls from over 20 years ago. Not seeing Rick anywhere in the small cafe, Yuri ordered her drink and sat in a secluded corner with two plush armchairs.   
Her hot tea sat untouched as she focused on the door to the cafe. Though she’d prepared herself for this conversation as much as she could, Yuri could still feel her stomach doing backflips. Would Rick even believe her? If he did, what would that mean for their friendship? She hoped a bond that spanned decades would survive this and her old friend would understand why she had done the things she had… but Yuri still couldn’t be absolutely sure. She hadn’t been this nervous since Shirou had found out about her sons.

Yuri wished Shirou was here with her. He’d always had a strange relationship with Rick, but they respected each other. Maybe it would help to have someone corroborating her story. She had told her best friend about meeting Rick at the grocery store, but his reaction had been less than optimistic about the meeting she’d planned today.

Just when Yuri had begun to think Rick wouldn’t arrive, the bell above the door chimed and a scarred man with auburn hair stepped inside. He gave her a quick smile and a wave before going to the counter to order; she waved back with a bittersweet smile. She almost felt like she was back in high school again, getting coffee before a study session with her friends. Where had the time gone?

“This place hasn’t changed a bit, huh?” Rick said, sitting down with his mug of coffee. Even the mugs and cups were the same ones they remembered: chipped, stained, and older than dirt.

Yuri smiled and took a sip from her own drink. “It sure hasn’t,” she said, now remembering why she’d only ever ordered coffee here. She’d opted to try something with chamomile in it, hoping to calm her nerves… but it wasn’t working in the slightest. The mug clinked slightly as she put it down, betraying the small tremors in her hands. “Listen, Rick… Before my family comes to dinner, I thought there was something you should know.” 

Rick nodded attentively. “Sure, what is it?”

This was it. Deep breaths. “Shirou isn’t the father of my children,” admitted Yuri. She would have found the way Rick’s jaw dropped humorous if she wasn’t so nervous. “And before you ask, yes, he knows— we actually… aren’t in a relationship. We never have been.” That hurt to admit the most if she was being honest with herself, but Yuri knew the painful confessions were only just beginning.

Rick sank back into the large armchair, eyes wide. “Really? Damn,” he said. “I’m sorry, Yuri, I just assumed—”

“It’s alright, Rick, really.” Yuri reached across the table to place her hand on Rick’s. Her palm barely covered the top of his hand. She could feel the twists and knots of long-healed scar tissue underneath her fingers; how many more scars were hidden underneath clothing? They had softened with time and care. Yuri hoped they didn’t cause him much pain. “I’m not with their father anymore. It’s… complicated. I want to tell you who he is, but you have to promise to listen, okay?”

Rick put his other hand on top of hers. “Of course I’m going to listen. You don’t have to be nervous, Yuri,” he said, giving her another smile. His eyes had the same glittering warmth she remembered. “Do you really think I’m going to judge you for however your kids came about? As long as you’re happy and safe it doesn’t really matter.”

A hot lump began to form in Yuri’s throat, though she tried her best to swallow it down. “But it _does_ matter,” she said softly, blinking away tears. “Rick… Satan is the father of my sons.”

“I’m sure it feels that way, but it’s kinda insensitive to use Satan’s name like that, Yuri,” Rick replied after an awkward silence, grimacing. “I know you haven’t been in the Exorcist world for a while, but after the Blue Night those jokes are kind of poor taste, y’know?”

This wasn’t an issue Yuri had anticipated. Of course Rick didn’t know about her long history with the Demon God of Gehenna, but she hadn’t expected him to think her confession was hyperbole. If she’d still been religious, she could have sworn someone above was messing with her. “I’m not joking. I had his children, you have to believe me,” she said, tightening her grip on his hand. How could she prove what she was telling him, especially if he was stubbornly in denial? It wasn’t like she carried around pictures of Rin without or glamour or had a family photo with their biological father. “The Order just put me to trial for harboring the sons of Satan, you can look up the records. I had a cradle barrier for nine months. Rin was born _on fire_.”   
Though Yuri knew every word was true, even she could hear how ridiculous the words sounded coming out of her mouth. She could understand why Rick was having such a difficult time believing her. 

“You really expect me to believe someone like you had kids with that… that monster?” Rick said, incredulous. “You sent me pictures of your sons. I met Rin. They seem like great kids, there’s just no way—”

“If there’s no way, why in the world would I lie about it?” Yuri said, losing her patience. “Why would I tell you something that sounds so ridiculous if it wasn’t the truth? Wouldn’t it be easier to just continue letting you think anything you want about their father?”

Yuri’s words finally seemed to sink in. He pulled his hands away from her as if she’d just admitted she’d been digging in raw sewage before meeting him today, his face nearly white. He looked disgusted to even be sitting across from her. Yuri folded her hands in her lap and waited quietly for whatever he was about to say. Her chest felt like it’d been filled with molten lead.

“Why?” That one word said it all. In one word Yuri could hear every emotion Rick was feeling— the rage, the betrayal, the horror. It cut her to the bone.

Her thought process back then seemed outlandish even to her now. She had been so young and wrapped up in the thought of rescuing everyone by sacrificing herself to Satan. She’d let him have his way with her in the hopes he’d be distracted from his megalomania… then the Order had intervened. Now she’d never know if her original plan would have worked. She could feel her throat choking up. Yuri barely felt able to speak but forced the words out anyways. “I thought I was helping,” she whispered. “I thought I had no other choice. He would destroy the world if he didn’t get what he wanted… and what he wanted was me.”  
Yuri would never regret having her sons, but she would be the first to say she’d been naive and foolish to think their conception would appease Satan. He was rotten and evil to the core; she’d simply been too close to him at the time to believe it, too confident in her own Taming prowess. But Satan was not the will-o-the-wisp she’d believed him to be then. He was a lightning strike— pure unadulterated power, untamable and barely redirectable. She was lucky simply to have made it out alive with her sons.

“So you gave yourself to him. Just like that,” Rick said, his upper lip curling upwards. It hurt to see her friend like this even more than she’d expected. “Was it good? Was it worth all the death and destruction?”

“Rick, stop it—” Yuri’s voice cracked as she protested, tears running down her face. She rubbed at her eyes but they kept coming. She turned away from her old friend, who was growing angrier and angrier. Several heads around them craned to look at the developing spectacle.

Rick stood up to his full height; he wasn’t as tall as Shirou, let alone Yukio, but he towered over Yuri nonetheless. The unscarred half of his face was red with fury. He gestured to the burned half of his body with one big, sweeping motion. “WAS IT WORTH THIS?!” 

Yuri was sobbing now. She hated crying in public, but there was no way she could keep herself together. Everyone in the small cafe was staring at them at this point; a few people were whispering among themselves. The last thing she’d wanted was for this to devolve into the current debacle. “Please, I’m so sorry!”

“Go,” he growled through grit teeth. Rick’s cornflower eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Lose my number. I never want to see you or your devil spawn ever again.”

She stood on shaking legs and staggered out of the cafe, barely able to see where she was going through her tears. Yuri breathed in deeply and tried to focus on the warm spring breeze on her face. Focused solely on her breathing and the path ahead, Yuri had no idea how long it took her to reach the dilapidated dorm she now lived in with her son. The one thing she cared about was that she’d finally stopped crying.  
When Yuri entered her home, she found her sons in the cafeteria area of the dormitory. Rin was putting the finishing touches on dinner in the kitchen while Yukio hunched over his classwork at a dining table. 

“Welcome home,” the twins said in near unison when they heard the door open. Yukio’s gentle, quiet smile and Rin’s exuberant grin were contagious; just seeing them instantly made her feel better. Her sons still seemed to sense her turmoil. Upon getting a better glimpse of her puffy, tearstained eyes, Yukio abandoned his homework and made his way towards his mother. Rin followed suit soon afterwards. Before she knew it, her boys were fussing over her like two mother hens. 

“You’ve been crying,” Yukio said, nearly hunching over to look down at his mother with concern. He was nearly half a meter taller than her at this point. “What happened?”

She smiled again to show her sons she was fine but neither boy seemed convinced. “I’m okay, really,” she reassured them. “The conversation with your Uncle Rick didn’t go so well, that’s all.” She felt strange using a title for him he certainly no longer wanted… but a part of her was still in denial that everything she’d just experienced had actually transpired. Yuri felt like any moment now, Rick would call and they’d make up just like they did with every other argument they’d ever had.

Her understatement persuaded neither Rin nor Yukio. She should have known better than to think she could fool them; though Yukio had no supernatural empathetic abilities like Rin, he was even more observant and sensitive deep down. “You’re not okay,” said Rin, his tail curling between his legs. Her son never talked about the specifics of this part of his powers, but Yuri presumed he could sense her suppressed suffering. His own expression was so pained it broke her heart all over again. “He hurt you.”

Rick _had_ hurt Yuri, but she refused to let her sons share in that burden. This was her guilt, her sorrow, her lost friendship; her sons had their own heartaches due to their heritage to contend with. She took a hand from each of her sons in hers, squeezing them tightly. “I don’t want either of you worrying about this, understand? It does hurt right now, but I know I’ll be just fine,” she said warmly. Yuri got on the tips of her toes to pull both of her children into a hug, which both twins readily accepted. 

“Maybe he just needs time?” Rin sounded unsure of his words as they came out of his mouth. Yuri still appreciated his optimism, heartbreaking as it was to listen to at the moment. “You were friends for years and years, he could go around…”

“I doubt he’s going to come around, Nii-san,” Yukio said. His tone was mild and resigned with bitterness just below the surface. “He probably heard Satan and made up his mind right then, just like everyone else.” 

Yuri knew her son didn’t mean to be harsh, but his words felt like a baseball bat to the stomach. He was right; the instant Rick had heard the word Satan, his mind and heart had closed off to Yuri and her family. He would only ever see her as Satan’s lover, never as his escaped hostage. He now saw Rin and Yukio as his spawn instead of the sons of his old friend.

“Why would you say something like that in front of Ma right now?!” Rin scolded, incensed on his mother’s behalf. Rin had an uncanny knack for spotting subtle changes in mood— even when Yuri was trying to keep her expression neutral. She wondered how much of his own response was actually because of her situation. Yuri didn’t have a doubt in her mind Rin was thinking about how his own friends would react to the truth. 

Yukio’s face had gone stony and impassive, the way it always did when he was upset and trying to hide it. It was very effective at fooling everyone— except his mother, of course. “The truth hurts less than false hope,” Yukio said.

Before Rin could respond to turn their little spat into a full-out argument, Yuri intervened. “Boys! Don’t do this right now, please,” she said. Though she was maintaining her composure as best she could, even Yuri could hear the plaintive unsteadiness in her voice. Both boys immediately abandoned their squabble. Yuri sighed and placed a hand on Rin’s forearm. “I’ll be okay,” she said softly. “I accepted this might happen well before I told him. Like your brother said, I’m not holding out for us to make up.”

Rin went very quiet, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He hugged his mother once again; Yuri could tell it was more for his comfort than hers, but she was happy to accept anyways. A new sense of indignation began to fill her. She couldn’t begrudge Rick for not wanting to associate with her because of her past relationship with Satan, but to write off her sons the way he had was absolutely unforgivable. 

She smiled wistfully again, patting Rin’s cheek before pulling out of the embrace. “What did I do to deserve such great sons?” Both boys were silent, not even commenting on how her words sounded choked and strained. “I’m alright, I promise. I’m just going to rest for a bit before dinner.”

As she retreated upstairs, both Rin and Yukio shared worried glances behind her back.

* * *

She hadn’t rested. Even now that Yukio had gone home and Rin was asleep in his own room, Yuri was awake and miserable. She needed to talk with someone who she wouldn’t feel bad about sharing her burdens with, someone who knew Rick, someone who would understand. Yuri got out of bed and padded over to the dormitory’s main landline, moving quietly so as not to wake her son. She could have dialed the number in her sleep.

“What is it?” A cranky yet comfortingly familiar voice answered, barely awake. Yuri felt terrible for waking him, but she was thankful he’d been the one to answer the phone.

Yuri twirled the phone cord around her finger. “I’m sorry, Shirou,” she said quietly. Even to her own ears, she sounded like she would burst into tears at any moment. “I know it’s late, but I—”

“Yuri, what happened? Is everyone alright?” Shirou sounded much more awake; to Yuri’s horror, she could hear the rustling of him getting ready in the background.

“Everyone’s okay. You don’t need to come over or anything,” she said. She took a deep, ragged breath before continuing. “I just— I told Rick today. Well, yesterday. About their father.” Yuri tried in vain to swallow the hot rock lodged in her throat. “He never wants to see me again.”

“Yuri,” breathed Shirou. The rustling began anew. “I’m coming over.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Whatever you say isn’t gonna change my mind. I’m coming over. See you in a bit.” The line went dead before Yuri could protest any further.

The kettle of water Yuri put on the stove hadn’t even begun to boil before Shirou made it to the old dormitory. He hadn’t been inside three seconds before he asked, “So do you want me to kick his ass?”

Yuri didn’t know whether to laugh or be horrified. When they were younger, she would have assumed he was being completely serious… but now that they were both older and wiser, she hoped he was kidding. “Please don’t be angry with him,” pleaded Yuri. “Rick has every right to feel the way he does right now.” Of course he didn’t care about what Satan had put her through— he was probably preoccupied with memories of the agony he’d gone through sixteen years ago.

“Just because he’s got a right, doesn’t mean I’ve gotta be happy about it,” Shirou grumbled. Recalling the countless arguments between Shirou and Rick in the past, Yuri began to doubt whether she’d chosen to right person to vent to. Shirou thankfully changed his tune after noticing her discomfort. He sighed, releasing the tension from his shoulders. “I won’t do anything, promise,” he said. “But are you alright?”

“I—” She’d been about to say she was fine but caught herself. What was the point of calling him over here if she wasn’t going to be truthful about how she felt? “I knew in the back of my mind this might happen when I told him, but a part of me thought he’d get over it like you did,” she admitted, gripping the kitchen counter with white knuckles. She hadn’t anticipated how the Blue Night had personally affected him and changed Rick’s outlook on demons. She hadn’t expected to grow so far apart from him over the years. “The second he found out, it’s like— like he turned into a completely different person…” Right before her very eyes, Rick had gone from the friend she knew and loved to an angry stranger who hated her and her children just for existing. Even the memory of the vitriol in his face and voice brought tears to her eyes.  
Shirou placed his large, heavy hand on her back, rubbing a soothing circle between her shoulder blades. Encouraged, Yuri continued to pour her heart out. “I’d seen that look in other people’s eyes before, but never someone who was my friend.” Yuri swallowed with some difficulty. “I’m usually happy with the life I have now, despite everything. And I didn’t want to say anything in front of the boys, but… It made me miss how things used to be before for the first time in a while,” she said, her vision growing blurry. “I-I miss going out for drinks with Rick, and helping you grade your tests even though I had a pile of my own to worry about. I miss Jenny, a-and the Demon Farm, and—” Yuri covered her hand with her mouth as her words were interrupted by a wet sob. “Even in the forest, I never felt this _lonely_.”

For so long, raising twins on her own had been distracting and fulfilling enough for her old life to seem like a distant memory. With both her sons in school and rapidly approaching adulthood, in the town where she’d spent most of her early life, the nostalgia for old times had hit her hard. But everyone from her life before was dead or wanted nothing to do with her— except for Shirou. 

But he had always been the exception.

“You have me,” he said, cradling her chin tenderly. “You will always have me.” Yuri couldn’t take her eyes off him; she felt like her heart might burst. His burgundy eyes glinted like rubies in the dim light. They stood there silently for a long moment, staring into each other’s eyes. The last time she had felt like this was sixteen years ago. The circumstances had been so different then; each of them had thought they’d never see the other again, not alive at least. Something had been on the tip of Shirou’s tongue, Yuri recalled, but at the last moment he’d chickened out. 

Yuri got the feeling this was what it’d taken him decades to say. These words weren’t ‘I love you’, but they were as good as a love confession coming from him. “I know,” she whispered. Before she could think about what she was doing, she tugged him down by the lapels, got up on her toes, and kissed him.   
To her surprise, Shirou didn’t push her away. Yuri had acted purely out of impulse, but had she actually managed to read him correctly? He leaned into the kiss, hands moving to rest on her waist. They pulled away from each other in unison, gasping and wide-eyed. Neither looked like they could fully believe what had just happened.

“What are we doing?” Shirou asked.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how kissing works,” she said in a low voice, a hand sneaking around Shirou’s back to pull him closer.

Shirou looked exasperated, though his face remained mere inches from hers. “I just want to make sure this is what you actually want,” he said. He extracted Yuri’s hand from his back to grip it in his own, rubbing at a drying tear stain on her cheek on the other. “You’ve been through a lot today—”

“I’ve wanted this for thirty years,” replied Yuri. Regardless of whether she’d been spurred on by her own emotional instability right now, that much was true. Maybe she just wanted comfort and closeness, but she also wanted— needed —Shirou specifically. Always had, always would. “What about you? What do you want?”

He looked at her for a long time, his eyes gravitating to her mouth. He licked his own lips and swallowed hard. “I want to kiss you again,” he whispered, looking more vulnerable than Yuri could ever recall seeing him.

“I think we can manage that.” Yuri got on the tips of her toes, smiling softly as Shirou leaned in once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm posting a long Yuri-centric chapter for the twins' birthday. Because she's earned it and she's the one who did all the work anyways : P  
> I honestly didn't expect them to kiss when I started writing this chapter, but it just kind of happened? Characters really do have a mind of their own sometimes! This is probably one of my favorite chapters to write so far. I'm excited to hear about what you all think! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, you guys have brought a lot of light to an otherwise dark year <3 I hope this story has done the same for you!
> 
> This story is going to be fade to black, but I do plan on possibly posting saucier stuff in a separate fic... for future reference.


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